I nearly lost a Friend...

I nearly lost a Friend...
Hey Girl I am Glad you are ok!
Two months ago, I received a txt saying a friend of mine had an attack and will be undergoing an operation...I didn't believed it at first, coz I was always been a victim of this friend of mine for this kind of jokes... she always done that...and she always had a good laugh because most of the time (everytime more likely) I fell fo it! So I told myself, nah, not this time..this time I knew better...
But on the back of my mind, I am kinna worried too, coz, she always been frigile looking ( the angel indisquised we always say!)...and lately she was worried about some discharges, we thought she was pregnant for a time actually. Anyway, the next day, I texted her sister and actually ask her what happened? I thought, if this is a joke I would never ever talk to her again! BUT sadly, it was confirmed, she really did had an attacked. She collapse after a severe headache...she jsut turn 27 a few months ago that day...I was shocked. This is so sudden, the last time we talked which was a few weeks ago, she was alive, kikay, and the luka-luka as ever...i cannot imagined her lying in bed and vegetable like. Not her, she's always been so alive and full of life...
I didn't get there right away, I just saw her pictures through her sisters cellphone cam..and I thought, Gosh, I can't see her like that, I am not strong enough...I might cry and it won't do any good at all...
Anyaway, we visited (me with 2 other friends) abount 3 or 4 days after the operation, her sister says she's ok and can actually recognized people then...we we're afraid of that actually, that she might not know us, coz, the operation was on the left side of her brain but according to her sister, she will know us..so we went.
When we get there in the ospital, what we saw was a little boy lying in bed sleeping, we thought, hey this is the wrong room, there must be a mistake! That can't be her, that was a boy not a GIRL!
We we're about to leave when we spotted her Mom sleeping on the side and we almost cried when we realized that was really her...
They shave her hair, she's so thin, she's so
March 25, 2007

Restless

I am restless AGAIN!!!!
Some people when angry talk and talk and talk...I envy those people! I wish I am like them...I think it's easy to relieved anger when you shout it OUT! How do they do that? Well, I am not..actually I never really expirience being angry in that sense...when I felt bad about a situation, I usually just stay quite or simply dissapear...Is that anger in a different sense????? I don't know...sometimes I am afraid of myself, what if I get angry one time and I don't know how to handle it? What if I can't controll it? Will I hurt those people dear to me? Will they leave me? I don't know... That's why I'm afraid, how come I don't know myself? How come I am afraid of my own self? Very funny...I am so complicated sometimes and a coward too...so pathetic! How can I know myself better???? ...
March 16, 2007