A dream...a nightmare

A dream...a nightmare
Friendster
Singularly Happy
11.19.07

I dreamed of a happy family last night...we were at the park together with two of my chilhood friends enjoying the sun and strolling with a baby in tow...it was such a wonderful dream...and I triend hard not to wake-up...coz i knew when I do it will become a nightmare...and I will be hurt once again knowing this will never happen...
In my dream, I was so happy and contented and so was he...he was holding the stroller and its a pink with little ribbons and laces...i was guessing its a baby girl...but i never saw the face of my baby...never the less I knew she was there...happy. And I was so happy too, I am laughing with what my friend was saying...i felt so carefree and loud and just happy to be there...and when i look at myside he was smiling as if he was so happy to be there too...I really wish I could stay in that place forever. But slowly...my consious mind interfree...I woke up....maybe its his face that woke me up...its bring me back to reality...knowing that could never be.
It was such a torture...when I look at the clock, its only 11:40 pm...I thought I could never go back to sleep...I was actually afaid to close my eyes, at the same time i was craving to dream that dream again, where for the first time after 20 days I felt safe, contented, happy and at peace once again...even though I knew its just a dream. But eventually I fell as sleep once again, dreamless this time..and I am thankfull because most of the times, if i woke in the middle of the night I couldn't go back to sleep that easy...God is so good He let sleep again ...
But still that dream hunted me...is it as if my mind is teasing me what could have been...if only...
I wish...this will end soon...how long will this go on? A year, a month, a week? I wish there would come a day...that i'll wake-up and and I will hurt no more...
November 19, 2007