Holding on...or letting go...

Friendster Blog: November 4, 2007

Ang hirap magsimula...ang dami kung gustong sabihin pero, di ko alam kung panu sisimulan...I am not used to sharing my thoughts to anyone, most of the times I rather keep it to myself and work things out my own way...but there are times na di mo na talaga kayang itago ang lahat...you have to let it go, otherwise you'll crack...explode or go insane?
Gosh, this is hard! ...you can never guess how hard is it for me to write about my thoughts and feelings...but i have to do this,its the only way...
Ok, bakit ba ko nandito ngayun? Maaring pagsisihan ko ito afterwards but for now...let me just do it...habang I still have the courage to let you know how I feel right now...
Sobrang gulo ng isip ko, as in I can't focus..I can't eat, I can't sleep and I can't even focus at work...so I decided to stop for a while baka makatulong...kakahiya naman kc sa boss ko, sobrang dumi na ng Ledger na ginagawa ko...ok, back to the reason why I am here. Well, i think something important have ended today, my relationship with someone...hurt? Yes, like hell! But I haven't cried yet? I wonder why? maybe because I still feel numb inside, maybe tonight, and i dreaded it...when all the numbeness is gone, where would i be...its so hard to think that, that someone you build your word around for more than a year is/was not part of your world anymore...parang ang hirap magsimula...my mind stop working ...but i wish its not my mind who have stopped...I wish it could have been the heart...mas mabilis siguro noh?
People say that I am too kind, too diplomatic...an angel...I never hurt anyone nor have an intention of doing so...I leave a simple life...I have a simple dream...simple lang and gusto ko...but bakit ganun...