Sad Thoughts...

Freindster Blog : October 2007

Have you ever experience being surrounded by people but still you felt so alone? You felt so cold inside, eerie and gloomy...and you laugh and smile but its all fake..coz deep inside you felt you don't belong?
You hate the feelings...its so dark and negative but you can't help it...life's seems so complicated and sad sometimes...but come to think of it, it shouldn't have but most of the times it ends that way. Maybe its part of growing-up...when one passes through the phase of loneliness...they'll find true happiness and contentment in the end...but what if one's cannot? Maybe those are the people who committed suicide or end-up insane? Right!
Anyway, why would someone felt this way? Really..why? I don't know.... maybe its boredom, you felt incomplete, or rejected, unimportant or maybe because you are asking for what you think you deserves but in reality its impossible?..or maybe you are simply burn-out. I don't know...but its hard and scary and at the same time frustrating...when one is used to be jolly and carefree...its hard...well trying to hide loneliness is harder...but you know most of the times it works too...but not for long.
When you're all alone with your thoughts, specially at night, you can't sleep, loneliness creeps in and well you felt ...cold...and you wish you have someone to talk to, but you're afraid they wouldn't understand your fear and end-up being laugh at? Or vulnerable or weak in their eyes?
This feelings I know is ridiculous, 'coz in the back of your minds, you know it's not true...but still you resist going with your love one's and pretend in front of them that you are okey...that you are happy and nothing change.
Well, maybe because it's really a personal struggle, something that only the person who felt that way can make his/herself snap-out-off it. Definitely, once its over, you can look back and laugh at yourself... in how ridiculous you acted! That's it...if you succeed it burying your own demons...otherwise, you'll end-up in the morgue or in the street...singing, dancing in the rain?...scary ha? Well...its your own demons...its your own struggle...nothing can help you but yourself...your happiness defends only on how you handle things..or perceive some situation...happiness starts within...
Well, I for once...shall stop by at the grocery store, later...maybe a pint size of mango flavored ice cream...can cure this? Don't you think???? Well, Hope so...it works before...