Unshed Tears

WAYN blog
Asha Summer

2007-12-11 Category: life
UNSHED TEARS
Date : December 11, 2007Time : 11:35 AM
Place: Office

Today, will be the last time I am writting about the pain of letting go...of a dreams and a love gone...The truth is until now...for the first time, i'll admit this...i am still holding on and i am still hoping he'll come back and beg for me to accept him...I tried so hard to deny this even to myself...and I am an IDIOT, a fool to continue doing this to myself...but this time I have to wake up and admit the fact that this is never going to happen...he is happy now without me...he never wanted to return nor wanted a future with me...and all the words that has been said and all the promises are just that...a word without meaning and a broken promises...It hurt, and i am not really sure until when it will hurt...i wish I could cry about this and then afterwards...everything will be ok...but its not that simple...no matter how many tears i cried...the pain remains...maybe thats the reason why i didn't cry...right after he finally end it and say goodbye...even though i knew its final...I opened my friendster account today...i was supposed to cancelled my account...i thought too much memories...but somehow...something stopped me for cancelling it...maybe its the false hope...that somehow i still matters to him...a fool me...i just change my status to single...i said to myself...if i really want to cancell it..i could cancel it later...but i have to think hard before i do it...coz i knew calcelling it is not reversable, once its done...my account will be lost forever...So, i didn't. And so, I run some errand outside the office and return around 2:45 pm...and when i check my friendster, guess what? He change his status too, from married to single...as if he just waiting for me to make the statement...and it hurts i must admit and it angers me...so bad i wanted to cry...then he also have erase my comments to him, and that hurt the most...and this time i knew i have to finally accept the fact that its over...he have move on...and so i must move on now too...and finally I now cancelled my Frienster account...i hope this would be the end of it...its FINAL...no more hope of him coming back...us being together again...this is it...its GOODBYE FOR GOOD...i just hope my heart can finally accept that...its FINAL its OVER...MOVE on...